Sunday, January 2, 2011
Bad Timing
I must admit that my timing was bad when I start Phase 2 again a couple of weeks ago. I decided to just go back off VLCD until Jan 1st. There were just too many temptations for me...cookies, cakes, dips, bacon...my huband was off work for over a week. It was a little bit much for a food addict to handle. And with that I gain everything bad that I had lost in that short period of time. This diet does not play. Although admitting the truth hurts, the truth is what it is. MY journey definitely is not peaches and cream. Not smooth sailing, but I'm gonna keep on trying to get this right. It's all on me... The balls in my court yet again.
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You inspired me to start the drops, I found you on the Phen board. I actually got a high five from my doctor on the 3rd for losing 20 pounds in only a month since I had last seen him. But I tell you what, something happened inside of me that change me reading your blog. Something just clicked in my head that said "No bite of anything in this world is as tasty as how good I feel when I'm thin. I have dropped 23 pounds. I can't tell you how inspirational you've been. The motivation you've given me is astounding and the bottom line is, I just wanted to thank you and let you know that you have helped so much. The smallest I've ever been was a size 10, in my freshman year of highschool. From sixth grade until now I've been everywhere between a twelve and a twenty-four. Today I stand in a very loose 14.I have beautiful, smaller clothes in my closet I don't have the confidence to wear. But each week, I dig out something that looks better, feels better than it did when I bought it. But learning to associate food with simple nourishment and nothing more was the biggest challenge. I learned, through reading and dieting through the holidays that food shouldn't be a celebration but a way to give our bodies what they need to operate on a healthy and optimal basis. But I've grown to love my vegetables and enjoy protein shakes and just remember that it's all about simple nourishment. My doctor was so pleased he gave me a high five, and sent me out the door with my script of phen. I have been doing them both and I am prescribed xanax for my anxiety disorder. I am only 23 and had been diagnosed with high bp six months ago. This was all related to stress, starting a new job, seeing what would be my father in law (my boyfriends dad) die, and taking care of him in his final days, supporting him (my boyfriend, who has MS , ) through unemployment and my sister (has schizophrenia) be misdiagnosed for so long that she ended up nearly killing herself. There have been so many things in my life come down on me that made me want to turn to food. I was only eating once a day, but it was pure crap and living on diet coke and cigarettes but my weight just continued to climb in spite of all of this. Once I read your blog, I changed. My heart was lifted, I said a prayer and talked to my boyfriend about these drops. My whole life has changed. I have never felt more devoted. I went from needing four xanax a day to only 1, my BP hasn't been bad for the last two visits (I got every two weeks because) I just want you to know that you've helped me so much. You don't know it but you are my internet angel. If it hadn't been for your information I would have never made the decisions I did. This never ever would have been done if I hadn't found your post, read your blog and followed all of your exciting ups, and cried for your downs. You are awesome, wonderful and really an inspiration to me, and those around me. But I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.You are such a blessing. I hope that you know, no matter how down or up you might be today that you've really made a huge difference in my life. Thank you so much. Keep it up. I'll pray for you. I'll be your friend I'm on face book (Amber Miller) my email addy is amberxlight@yahoo.com if you ever want to get in touch. All of these strengths and revelations because of the first step, reading your blog and your heart and soul on display for every one to see it's just so touching. I'm crying tears of joy because I know God will help you get where you want to be. I know he will heal you and give you everything you need to meet your goals and be the best version of yourself you can be. I've still got at least sixty pounds to go, but I know that with your help, and the continued willpower I will not give up til I get there.
ReplyDeleteOk....I like don't know what to say after that. I have chills with the thought of me inspiring someone. All this time I never even knew anyone was even paying attention to me. Thank you SOOOOOO much!!!! That was very nice of you. I can't imagine all the stress that you've been through and yet you perserved. Keep doing what you do you have the right attitude for sure. I'll be keeping in touch. My user name on hCG is Donnie OnhCG. you'll find a whole community of hCG'ers under the last name hCG.
ReplyDeleteAnd can you befriend on facebook me because there are a lot of people with your same name.
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